All tagged life coaching

Life Coaching On The Move - Launch of my free, weekly, motivational podcast.

I am so pleased to be able to announce the release of my free, weekly podcast packed full with tips, techniques and strategies that you can use in your everyday life to grow your inner confidence and self belief.

Full of stories and examples from 1000’s of coaching clients on similar journeys, I aim to bring all my topics to life, make them easy to understand, inspiring and motivational. The podcast will encourage and support your development so you can become the person you want to be, feel the way you want to feel and achieve everything you have only previously hoped to achieve.

If you like, please rate and review it if you get a second. It will help others to find it and benefit in the same way as you. Or, if you feel it appropriate, please ‘Share’ the link on your social media so your friends can have a listen and benefit. I have included the link below.

I really hope you like it. Let me know if there are any topics you would especially like covered.

Thank you so much!

https://anchor.fm/dawn-fiske

Become your own coach

A question for you…..

How do you know when you’ve done a really good job? Or, how do you know when you look really good in a new outfit?

Some of you will say it’s because your boss or customer has told you so and you’ve received really good feedback. Or that your husband, friend or parent told you. These people are “external validators” - they rely on external validation to confirm how well they look or how well they are doing.

Others will reply with something along the lines of, “I just know, I know I have checked the work through thoroughly, that I’ve put in lots of hard work and effort, I’ve taken my time and I just know it is good” or, “I just feel really comfortable in the outfit and look in the mirror and if I love what I see, then that’s good enough for me".” They are internal validators - relying much more on their own internal measures of how well they are doing in life.

There is no right or wrong, but the downside to needing largely external validation comes when you are in a relationship with someone that just doesn’t naturally give compliments, or work for a boss that doesn’t see the need to give constant feedback/praise, or doesn’t know how. In these instances, we feel unsure of how we are doing, we can feel lost, uncomfortable, vulnerable, uncertain, very unhappy, and starved.

So when working with clients who feel this way because they rely heavily on external validation and just aren't receiving it, then we work towards them strengthening their “internal validator,” or internal coach or friend. The client learns to self coaching each time they have completed an important task by asking themselves the following questions:

1. What did I do well?

2) What, if I could turn the clock back, would I do differently?”

3) What will I do more of in the future?

At first this feels difficult and uncomfortable, but with time it becomes easier and incredibly helpful. By building and strengthening their "internal coach muscle" they are far less dependent on others and much better equipped with increased confidence and self acceptance. Don't get me wrong, most of us enjoy receiving the odd compliment, appreciation or praise, but once we have learnt to do that genuinely for ourselves, then we can take that internal coach with us wherever we go and use it with whatever we are facing and that has to be a good thing.

Live with the end in mind

Sadly yesterday I attended the funeral of, and said goodbye to, a truly lovely 86 year old family friend. He had become something of a Grandfather figure to our boys, and a father figure to me following the loss of my own Dad four years ago.

But he’d lived a great life and up until just recently had been very active, healthy, full of fun, laughter and projects! As I sat listening to his eulogy and reflected on what I am going to miss most about him I wondered what people might say at my funeral when the time comes.

The advantage of foresight is that we can steer that ship now in the direction we want it to go in. What do we want people to read out when our time comes? What kind of character do we want to be remembered as?

I would love them to say that I was always smiling, upbeat and optimistic in life. That I was full of energy and a go getter. That it didn’t matter what you asked of me, I would always try and help. That I cared deeply about my family and friends and would always put them first - and because I know that is how I want to be remembered, I need to remind myself of that now and absolutely ensure that is how I live my life.

What would I like them to regale about what I did, where I went, how I spent my life? Again, I know I would like them to read interesting words, tell funny stories, remember great places or things I had accomplished. What I am saying is I would love for them to be able to read about a well and full lived life with lots of variety and interesting times - and again, I need to remind myself of that now……. just as I am settling down on the sofa every night to watch rubbish TV and waste evening after evening!!

Yesterday’s funeral was a celebration of a life well lived by a man who had a deeply warm heart, a huge sense of humour, was interesting, funny, full of life, a passion for travelling the world and was a true gentleman. I hope he was proud of his achievements, of how he lived his life, and who he was as a person and I hope when my time comes I will be equally as proud because if we all live now with the end in mind we can benefit from the power of foresight and be the people we want to be remembered as, and live the life we want retold to the generations we leave behind.