All tagged confused

When you're in two minds about something...

Have you ever experienced a real dilemma where part of you wants to do something, and another part of you doesn’t? Where you are in two minds about something or feel the angel sat on one shoulder is encouraging and supporting you, whereas the devil on the other is holding you back, and warning you against it.

Who wins? Which way do you go? What do you do?

When I work with clients who are facing exactly this situation we work on each part separately. We explore every single benefit that taking the step, making the decision, embracing the opportunity, would bring them. And I mean every single benefit, by repeating questions such as, “and what would that give you?” and, “what would be the benefit of that?” and “what does that bring you?” - over and over again, until we get to the absolute root of why they are considering it in the first place, what it would ultimately bring them and what is at the core of it all.

We then look at why part of them doesn’t want to go for it, make that change, embrace the opportunity. What that part fears, dreads, worries about, etc., through exactly the same process. I repeat the questions, drilling down to the very core root, the absolute need that this part of them has and what avoiding or staying safe brings them - the benefits to not making the change, to staying as they are, remaining safe.

And guess what we ALWAYS FIND OUT? …….. that both ‘parts’ want EXACTLY THE SAME thing!! Whether it is ultimately that each ‘part’ wants them to be happy, or secure, or fulfilled, or loved or healthy, the devil and the angel want exactly the same. This will be true for you, too- deep down, those separate parts or different ‘minds’ want exactly the same thing for you - they are not working against each other at all - you just feel they are.

In reality, the only difference between them is the route by which each part thinks you can achieve that one thing. One side believes it is by taking a risk, making a decision, making a change, moving forward and embracing something new. The other believes it is better to stay safe, embrace the familiar, stick with what you know.

So, drill down and ask yourself exactly the same questions of your ‘two minds.’ Find out what the root desire/need, aim that each part has, see the similarity, get them to work together and decide on the best possible route for you to achieve what they both want for you. It works, I promise you. Once we know they are on the same side they can work together. It is merely a question of strategy, approach, and route to take in order to get what the whole of you wants. It is not “if” but instead, “how" - and that is far easier to untangle and sort out…..