What we say influences how people respond to us. Similarly, what we say to ourselves influences how we respond, feel, and think.

Sometimes just changing one or two simple words can hugely change the way our message lands. For example, a child asks his Mummy if he can have a lollipop. If she replies, "No, not until you've eaten your tea, " he will respond in one way (negatively as not very happy about the answer). If she were to very slightly change how she says the same answer to, "Yes, as soon as you've eaten your tea, " he will respond very differently (positively and likely to feel even a little chipper!) - yet she has basically said the same thing.

How can this be important when considering what we say to ourselves?

Well, if your internal chatterbox is saying things like "I've GOT to pick the kids up," "I've GOT to do the shopping," "I've GOT to visit my parents, "I've GOT to go to the Gym," it makes us feel like it’s a burden, a chore, negative, it weighs us down, and so on. If we change that internal chatter by just one word, it significantly changes how we feel about the same situation. By saying instead, "I GET to pick the kids up," I GET to do the shopping." I GET to visit my parents," I GET to go to the Gym," we feel so much better about the task, that it's a pleasure or a privilege or even a gift!! And that's just changing one word in our head.

What about all the negative sentences, beliefs, doubts, and worries that we say to ourselves? Here's the challenge - regularly go into your head and notice what you are saying to yourself. Could it be improved, be more helpful, encouraging, supportive to you? Would you say it to your best friend or loved one? If not, then don't say it to yourself.

STOP the negative chatter. Change your internal communication. Become a friend to yourself and see how differently you feel about yourself and the world.

Good luck.