Do you ever find yourself watching other people and wishing you could be like them?
Coaching is the process of self-improvement, and change. If you feel ready to improve any area of your life, then get in contact for further details on how we can help, or book a FREE, completely confidential, 30-minute initial telephone session. Email: dawn@milestone-coaching.co.uk, or call Dawn on 01256 389600 to arrange.
All in Moving Forward
Failure sharpens our problem-solving skills. It nurtures resilience, perseverance, and creative thinking—skills that are critical not just in professional settings but in everyday life. Without failure, there is no challenge to overcome, no problem to solve, and no reason to grow.
Each of us have certain things that hold us down somewhat. A little like tent pegs holding down a tent, we all have things in life that ‘tie us down’ - family ties, career commitments, relationships, financial commitments, and so on. These things help give us a sense of purpose, focus, drive and confirmation that we are needed - and as such they are good things (although sometimes it might not always feel that way).
But when I work with clients, I sometimes find there are far more “tent pegs” in their life, pinning them down, holding the back, stopping them from moving forward. What are these tent pegs???
Perceived obstacles, fears, what if’s, doubt, false negative beliefs, self created blocks. Whether it is the belief that they “don’t have enough time”, “can’t afford it”, they are “ just not capable/skilled/clever enough”, etc., etc.
So what are the false “tent pegs” in your life? What is stopping you, holding you back? Completing the following statements quickly, and see what comes out for you:
I’m too……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….……
I’m not ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….…
I can’t ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
I need …………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
If only ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
By completing the above statements, without giving them too much thought, you will find what your “obstacles” or hurdles are. Now you need to do some very real soul searching and decide whether these are real ‘tent pegs’, or whether in fact they are merely limiting beliefs, self sabotage, self doubt, fear, insecurity, the what if’s, and excuses.
If that is the case, great news. Celebrate! False obstacles and limiting beliefs can most definitely be overcome and freedom from them is just around the corner. Awareness is half the battle, and that is where you find yourself now.
The final stage is freeing yourself and pulling those “tent pegs” from the ground. You can do this via many routes. Try working on them with a close friend or mentor or enlist the help of a Coach - but DO work on them.
Imagine how life will be when you have. What will you be doing that you are not currently doing? What can you achieve, experience, have or become, that you currently are not?
For further thoughts and tips, listen to our free “Life Coaching on the Move” Podcast, where you will find many personal growth subjects, examples, stories and shared experiences, strategies and methods, to underpin your development and progress , and keep you moving towards change and improvement.
Often it is not the event itself that causes us such angst, anger, and upset, but rather how we respond to it; how we keep hold of it, re-live it, blow it out of proportion, and re-live it again….., and again. The mental space and energy we give to things is often completely disproportionate to the event itself and it is that which causes the huge emotional response. Let's imagine the amount of mental energy we gave was instead money - would you be spending excessive amounts of cash on those events? Is that where you would want to invest your finances, or would you rather spend on something pleasurable, fun, important, helpful and possibly life improving?
The way I, and now many of my clients, handle these events is to ‘LIMO’ them. Taken and adapted from the book, SUMO, I encourage people to just shrug their shoulders and simply “Leave It, Move On.” In other words, refuse to hang on to these things, not give them mental time and space, refuse to dwell on them and allow them to hook in, and instead just let them go. LIMO!
If you haven’t already read SUMO by Paul McGee, I would definitely recommend it. It’s full of techniques to help you move on in life, build your confidence, and feel stronger in your mind.
So, if you need a very simple approach in your life to help you let go of those annoying or upsetting events that can have a disproportionate impact on your day(s), then adopt the LIMO approach - shrug, leave it, and move on. Simple but very powerful.
