Do you ever find yourself watching other people and wishing you could be like them?
Coaching is the process of self-improvement, and change. If you feel ready to improve any area of your life, then get in contact for further details on how we can help, or book a FREE, completely confidential, 30-minute initial telephone session. Email: dawn@milestone-coaching.co.uk, or call Dawn on 01256 389600 to arrange.
Whether you have just left college, or are a University Graduate, finding your dream role is not always straightforward. To help, we have put together a list of 10 top tips that will help you to find great opportunities, put together a winning CV, nail that interview, and progress your career.
We all go through difficult times in life and can experience low moods as a result. But how can we spot when someone close to us is going through a mental health crisis and struggling with depression and how can we support them to better health?
Here’s a quick question for you…..
If you were offered a job, but they stressed that the job did not come with a manual, nor would they provide you with any training whatsoever, that although it would prove to be the most rewarding role you could imagine, should anything negative happen whatsoever, you would always feel that you were to blame and that lastly, if you accepted the role, it would be a role for life, you could never ever resign or walk away. Would you accept the role or would you run for the hills? Yet, this is the reality when we become a parent.
Here are 7 lies I used to believe about being a parent.
Here are 10 life lessons I have learned from my clients….
My Mum always used to say that “everything happens in threes” but recently I have been benefitting from the power of fives.
Mel Robbins is known for her Five Second Rule, which if you haven’t already checked it out, is definitely worth a look.
The 5 Second Rule is simple and comes into its own when suffering from procrastination or avoidance.
If you need to take action when you really don’t want to this is the rule for you. When you have the instinct to take some action, you must physically move within 5 seconds or your brain will kill it. There is a window that exists between the moment you have the instinct to act and your mind killing it. It's a 5-second window.
The rule states that we count backwards from 5 with the full commitment that the moment we hit 1, we just do it….. we take action; we pick up the phone, immediately dial the number and make that awkward call we’ve been avoiding for the last few hours, or when we hit 1 we instantly and without any further thought, make ourselves simply put our feet on the floor and get out of bed, or we commit to the decision that on 1 we will open the front door and begin the run we’ve been delaying, press send on the email we’ve been holding back, just jump into the cold swimming pool, and so on.
It is a surprisingly simple rule to use to overcome procrastination, speak up, take action, push ourselves, and get results. If you haven’t already discovered the benefits for yourself, I strongly recommend you give it a try.
Now that we’ve overcome our procrastination and are making good progress with a task, the magic number 5 can help us once again - using the “Just Five More” strategy.
This simple, yet very effective time management strategy can help us when our brainpower, motivation, and energy begin to flag and we find ourselves reaching a point of strongly considering leaving the task for another day, find ourselves feeling distracted with non-essential things, or are tempted to take a not yet earned break.
Applying the simple rule “just five more" has been incredibly helpful for me. Depending on the task, this might be just five more sentences, emails, phone calls, minutes, or items. Whatever it is, committing to just five more puts us back in control, improves our productivity, keeps us on track for that little bit longer, and sometimes ‘just five more’ turns into an extra seven or eight, or more.
Why not try these two simple methods for yourself over the next week, and see what positive impacts they have on your productivity.
For further time management strategies check out the “Time Management For Busy People” online course available now at https://www.milestone-coaching.co.uk/online-courses
What we say influences how people respond to us. Similarly, what we say to ourselves influences how we respond, feel, and think.
Sometimes just changing one or two simple words can hugely change the way our message lands. For example, a child asks his Mummy if he can have a lollipop. If she replies, "No, not until you've eaten your tea, " he will respond in one way (negatively as not very happy about the answer). If she were to very slightly change how she says the same answer to, "Yes, as soon as you've eaten your tea, " he will respond very differently (positively and likely to feel even a little chipper!) - yet she has basically said the same thing.
How can this be important when considering what we say to ourselves?
Well, if your internal chatterbox is saying things like "I've GOT to pick the kids up," "I've GOT to do the shopping," "I've GOT to visit my parents, "I've GOT to go to the Gym," it makes us feel like it’s a burden, a chore, negative, it weighs us down, and so on. If we change that internal chatter by just one word, it significantly changes how we feel about the same situation. By saying instead, "I GET to pick the kids up," I GET to do the shopping." I GET to visit my parents," I GET to go to the Gym," we feel so much better about the task, that it's a pleasure or a privilege or even a gift!! And that's just changing one word in our head.
What about all the negative sentences, beliefs, doubts, and worries that we say to ourselves? Here's the challenge - regularly go into your head and notice what you are saying to yourself. Could it be improved, be more helpful, encouraging, supportive to you? Would you say it to your best friend or loved one? If not, then don't say it to yourself.
STOP the negative chatter. Change your internal communication. Become a friend to yourself and see how differently you feel about yourself and the world.
Good luck.
Researchers have known for some time that 80% of us commonly experience a peak in our concentration and focus in the morning, a trough soon after lunch, and a recovery period sometime before the close of business - or put another way; an up-down-back up.
It might not be too surprising to learn that certain types of tasks are better suited to one phase than the others and if we are aware of this, then we could use it to our advantage. Analytical work has been found to be much better suited to the ‘peak’ phase, or the first part of our working day. Brainstorming and creative tasks are often better performed in the ‘recovery’ part of the day, whereas mundane and un-demanding tasks, such as admin, are much better suited to the post-lunch dip phase of the day.
A shocking finding came when Danish researchers looked at two million standardised test scores in Denmark. They found that students who took the test in the morning scored significantly better than students who took the test in the afternoon. In fact, they found that taking the test in the afternoon is equivalent to missing two weeks of school.
Research reveals that time of day explains around 20% of the variance in how people perform on cognitive tasks, highlighting the importance of not just writing a plan or to-do list for our day, but crucially to also consider when we carry out those tasks. If we are able to consciously block out time in our calendar for certain tasks in order to fully maximise our peak concentration and focus phase, and again to ensure we get as much out of the ‘recovery’ phase as we can, we will find that our overall effectiveness and productivity will enormously benefit.
But what if we have no control over the timing? What if we have an important interview, an aptitude test, driving test, exam, or meeting that has been scheduled for us and we cannot alter the timing? Thankfully, there are things we can do.
People given a 20 to 30-minute break during which they ran or walked around outside, were found to not only improve their performance scores, but they were even higher than tasks carried out in the ‘trough’ phase without the opportunity to first have an active, outdoors, short break.
Furthermore, a 1 or 2-minute break was found to be better than none.
Moving was found to be better than stationary.
Outside was found to be better than inside.
What I take from this is that my daily to-do lists of high priority tasks are still very important, but if I go a step further and plan when I am going to carry out the highest priority and/or highly cognitive or creative tasks, I will surely maximise the amount of time I have, improve my productivity and get better overall results. Not only that, but if I build in a walk around the garden with the dogs immediately after my lunch, I will counteract the ‘trough’ or post-lunch dip, and will use all of my time in a much more efficient way - it is all about task and self-management.
I’ve always said that ‘time management’ is a myth, because we can’t actually manage time at all - it is a fixed commodity and we all have the same amount available to us in any one day. But what we can manage is ourselves and what we do in the time available to us and by making small changes, we really can make very large improvements.
This is the time of year when many of us are working to improve parts of our life, lose weight, quit smoking, get fit, build good habits or change/stop bad habits. But it is not always easy, and whilst some may be struggling a little, others may well have given up already and reverted back to their old, familiar habits and behaviours.
It is our willpower that makes all the difference to our success - the inner strength that enables us to persevere with whatever we are working towards achieving or attempting to resist. Plentiful stores of willpower are essential for making any change, enabling us to reject immediate satisfaction, pleasure or comfort, in order to gain something better, even if it requires effort and time to gain.
I love the “Feel Better, Live More” podcast by Dr Chatterjee at the best of times but especially this very special episode. I would STRONGLY RECOMMEND you have a listen.
It’s powerful, confronting, and challenging and his Guest’s honesty, empathy, and willingness to share the wisdom of her 93 years is truly inspiring. Dr. Edith Eger is a Holocaust survivor, psychologist, and expert in the treatment of post-traumatic stress, but above all, she’s an incredible human being with an extraordinary story to share. Her latest book, The Gift: 12 Lessons to Save Your Life, is quite simply a phenomenal read and one that Dr. Chatterjee believes is a must-read for all of us, so it is the next book on my reading list!
Did you know that around 45% of what we do every day is done out of habit? This means that half of the time we are awake is spent with automatic behaviours. Or, put another way, we spend 1 out of every 2 minutes doing something that requires very little cognitive or emotional effort from us.
